2016

Gyms: They're the only way you can get fit, aside from all the other ways, and the only place you can get juice, aside from lots of others.

If it's hot out and you're in dire need of refreshment, just grab yourself an ice cold bottle of candy.

It's all about making money by destroying society's already low self-esteem.

Because if anyone needs real talk, it's gamers.

Enough with the maps! We don't even understand their meanings anyway.

Only good marketing could get the entire world addicted to black liquid that raises blood pressure and increases stress.

When are guys going to have to start enduring the rigors of birth control?

Let's just go back to blood-letting and bile drinking already.

They SHOULD tell you, but don't because it's hard to market nightmares.

If you like hamburgers, maybe don't watch this video.

Energy drinks are just like drugs except with cooler colors.

Airlines: Bending you over for the pleasure of soaring 39,000 feet above the earth in a fart-filled tube.

The lottery is a great investment of your hard earned money, but only if you win.

Maybe don't watch this while sitting in your hotel room.