Season 5

Fans of the Week: Man City - said that if money was no concern, they'd sign either Cantona or Pires and their all time heros are either Denis Law or Colin Bow. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Footballer Guest: John Beresford (Southampton) Other Guests: -Michael Greco (EastEnders) (Chelsea fan) -Perry Fenwick (EastEnders) (West Ham fan) On the Phone: -Mark Staniford (Everton fanzine) -Les Ferdinand (Tottenham) -Graham Poll (referee) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. The term 'the usual suspects' 2. Too many foreigners 3. Players wages are too high 4. Roy Keane 5. Chelsea mutiny Changing Rooms: Gareth Southgate (Aston Villa) said that his footballing hero was Bryan Robson, the best player he's played with is Paul Gascoigne, the best player in the Premiership is Roy Keane, his most memorable games have been the FA Cup Final last season, the Euro 96 semi final against Germany and England vs Holland (Euro 96) and vs Italy (away, qualifying for WC 98). His worst

Fans of the Week: Cardiff - said that if money was no concern they would sign Nathan Blake (hmm, okay) and their all time playing hero is Robin Friday. Score in Feed the Goat: One. Footballer Guest: Clayton Blackmore (Castleton someone - ex Man Utd, Middlesbrough etc) Other Guests: -Claire Sweeney (Brookside) (Everton and West Brom fan) -Sheree Murphy (Emerdale) (Leeds fan and Harry Kewell's girlfriend) On the Phone: -Carlton Palmer (Coventry) -Philip Ham (Ipswich fanzine) -Avis Ryder (Jack Ryder's - from EastEnders - mum) -Ron Wylie (Grimsby tannoy announcer person) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Red cards 2. Referee inconsistency 3. Macca in limbo 4. Wenger aggro 5. Cole recall Changing Rooms: Don Hutchison (Sunderland) revealed that his footballing hero was Gazza, the best players he's played with are Jamie Redknapp, Ian Rush, Alan Hansen and John Barnes, the best players he's played are the likes of (Roy) Keane and Vieira, the biggest wind-up merchan

Fans of the Week: Hibernian - said that they would sign Paolo di Canio if money was no problem, and their all time heros are George Best and Pat Stanin. Score in Feed the Goat: Two. Footballer Guest: Ade Akinbyi (Leicester) Other Guests: Reef: Gary Stringer (Wolves fan) and Kenwyn House (Southampton fan) On the Phone: -Martin Brodetsky (Oxford fanzine) -Neil Ruddock (Crystal Palace) -George Sephton (Anfield tannoy man) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Late comebacks 2. England injury crisis 3. Freedom of movement law 4. Vinnie's Hollywood fairytale 5. Starsky & Hutch Changing Room Legends: Pele (probably the best player in the world... ever) said that his father, Zizinho (ex-Brazilian international), George Best and Beckenbauer inspired him to play football, his toughest opponents were Beckenbauer, Bobby Moore and Trappatoni, his most important goal was when he was 17 and making his debut for the Brazilian side against Wales, his wors experience as a footballer

Fans of the Week: Preston - said that they would sign Kirsty Gallacher if they could, and their all-time heroes are Brian Mooney and Sir Tom Finney. Score in Feed the Goat: One. Footballer Guest: Peter Swan (York City) Other Guest: Scott Wright (Corrie) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Peter Taylor (Leicester manager) (AKA Peter the Taylor) -Matt Holland (Ipswich) -Peter Gilham (Brentford tannoy person) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Late comebacks 2. Chelsea bottlers 3. Gregory hates Chelsea 4. Wembley Stadium 5. Owen's wonder week Changing Rooms: Gary Speed (Newcastle) said his biggest footballing heroes were Hoddle and Barnes, he supported Chester and Everton as a child, the best player he's played with is Gordon Strachan, the best he's faced are Hagi, Rivaldo and Roy Keane, the toughest Premiership opponents are Jaap Stam, Paul Scholes, Terry Henry, Vieira and Bergkamp, the most aggressive player is David Batty and the weakness in Speed's game is his passing t

Fans of the Week: West Ham - said that they would sign Zidane if they could sign anyone. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Footballer Guest: Jamie Lawrence (Bradford) Other Guests: DJs Tall Paul (Arsenal fan), Alex P (Spurs) and Lonyo (Liverpool fan) On the Phone: -Steve McManaman (Real Madrid) -Michael Thomas (Wimbledon) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea's manager 2. Leeds injury problems 3. Man Utd's title already 4. Fulham's title already 5. Fossil fuels (Cole and petrol) Changing Rooms: Jamie Redknapp (Liverpool) said his biggest influence in his career was his dad (Harry), he supported Luton as a child (to Tim's disgust), his footballing hero (and best player he's played with) is John Barnes, the best he's faced is Zidane, the most physical opponent he's faced is Dennis Wise and his favourite away grounds are Upton Park and White Hart Lane. Soccerette: Called Vicky, age 18, 5 foot 4, from Hornchurch, supports the Glory Hornet Boys (Watford) Can He Kick It?

Fans of the Week: Scunthorpe - say that their greatest ever hero is Matt Elliott. Score in Feed the Goat: Two. Footballer Guest: Michael Brown (Sheff Utd) Other Guest: Louis Emerick (from Brookside) (Liverpool fan) On the Phone: Michael Duberry (Leeds) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Leeds late winner 2. Keown's fighting spirit 3. Chelsea 4. Dalglish/Celtic legal battle 5. Stars on the bench Soccerette: Called Annette, age 19, 5 foot 6, from Canterbury, supports Spurs. Can He Kick It? Guest: John Wark (ex Ipswich, Liverpool etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - Cat went wrong way.

Fans of the Week: Coventry - say that their greatest ever hero is Tommy Hutchinson. Score in Feed the Goat: One. Footballer Guest: Richard Johnson (Watford) Other Guest: Phil 'The Power' Taylor (Darts World Champion) (Port Vale fan) On the Phone: -Barry Fry (Peterborough boss) -Stuart Preston (Arsenal fanzine) -Jason McAteer (Blackburn) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea's season over 2. Man Utd's arrogance 3. Stan Collymore 4. Bergkamp's back 5. The expression 'whaasuuup!' Changing Rooms: Steve Carr (Spurs) said his football hero was Bryan Robson, the best player he's played with is Jurgen Klinsmann, the best he's played against are Ryan Giggs and Jarni (of Real Madrid), the best players in the Premiership are Roy Keane and Beckham, and the biggest wind-up merchant is Gilles Grimandi. He revealed that he would pay to watch Di Canio play and his career highlights have been winning the Coca Cola Cup and his full international debut for Ireland. Soccerette:

Fans of the Week: Oxford. Score in Feed the Goat: One. Footballer Guests: -Frank Lampard (West Ham) -Andrew Impey (Leicester) -Tony Woodcock (ex Arsenal, Forest and England) On the Phone: -Craig Brown (Scotland manager) -Russell Watson (last person to sing national anthem at Wembley) (Man Utd fan) -Gerry Taggart and Neil Lennon (both Leicester and Northern Ireland) - were using same phone Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Beckham's fitness 2. Germany camp trouble 3. Last game at Wembley 4. Autobiographies 5. The expression 'whaasuuup!' Changing Rooms: - (was gonna be Moustapha Hadji of Coventry, but there wasn't enough time) Soccerette: Called Louise, age 18, 5 foot 6, from Swindon, supports Crystal Palace. Can He Kick It? Guest: Tony Woodcock (ex Arsenal, Forest and England) Could He Kick It? Yes - Cat went wrong way again.

Fans of the Week: Derby. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Footballer Guest: Paul Williams (Coventry) Other Guests: -Matt Dawson (Northampton.. and England egg chaser) (Everton fan) -Audley Harrison (Olympic British gold boxer) (Footie fan in general - used to support Liverpool) -Darren Campbell (fast runner - Olympic British silver medal 200 metres) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Graham Kelly (director at Luton - former FA Chief Executive) -John Aldridge (Tranmere manager) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. England manager 2. Ray Parlour's 'goal' 3. England World Cup over 4. Scotland almost there 5. Shaven heads Changing Rooms: Moustapha Hadji (Coventry) said that he supported AC Milan as a boy, the best player he's played with is Djalmenha, the best he's played against is Diego Maradonna, the best in the Premiership is Ryan Giggs, the most physical opponent is Jaap Stam, the best Premiership goal he's scored was against Arsenal at Highfield Road last season,

Fans of the Week: Middlesbrough - said their greatest ever player is Juninho. Score in Feed the Goat: Four Footballer Guest: Matthew Le Tissier (Southampton) Matt Le Tissier - who has remained loyal to Southampton throughout his career Other Guest: Ian Broudie (Lightning Seeds) (Liverpool fan) Ian Broudie's Lightning Seed's singles include '3 Lions' and 'Marvellous' Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Terry Venables 2. Arsenal aggro 3. Sacking season for managers 4. Chelsea crisis 5. Dwight's comeback Changing Rooms: George Weah (now at Marseilles - this is possibly the last interview done with Weah while he was at Man City). He said that his footballing hero was Pele, the best players he's played with are Ginola and Hoddle, the best defenders he's faced include Baresi and Adams, he said that the people of Liberia love him, his nickname is George Opong, and if he wasn't a footballer, he'd be a telephone technician Weah, while at AC Milan, where he won World, European and A

Fans of the Week: Luton. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Luton fans decided unanimously that Ricky Hill is their greatest ever player. Footballer Guests: -Carlton Palmer (Coventry) -Jonathan Macken (Preston) Jonathan Macken used to play for Man Utd... Carlton used to play for Southampton Other Guest: Phil Tufnell (cricketer) (Arsenal fan) You may not know that Tuffer's full name is Philip Clive Roderick Tufnell. On the Phone: -Jamie Redknapp (Liverpool) -Mark Dingwall (Rangers fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. The England manager situation 2. Man Utd's defence 3. Leeds European despair 4. Fulham's bubble burst 5. Crisis at Ibrox Changing Rooms: - was going to be ex Leeds and Juventus star John Charles but there wasn't time so he will be on next week Soccerette: Called Kelly, age 22, 5 foot 4, from Enfield, supports Spurs. Can He Kick It? Guest: David Busst (ex Coventry) Could He Kick It? Yes - top right.

Fans of the Week: Portsmouth - said their greatest ever player is Paul Walsh. Score in Feed the Goat: One. Footballer Guests: -Steve Sedgley (Wolves) -Marcus Bent (Sheff Utd) On the Phone: Marcus Stewart (Ipswich) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Sven Goran Eriksson must go* 2. Heskey sending off 3. Stan Collymore 4. Tony Cascarino 5. Under strength sides * Soccer AM don't actually think Sven Goran Eriksson should be fired - they're just getting in there early before the papers. Changing Rooms: - Soccerette: Called Amber, age 24, 5 foot 4, from Burnley, supports Liverpool. Can He Kick It? Guest: Nigel Spink (ex Villa, WBA etc) Could He Kick It? No - the first Cat save for 7 weeks.

Fans of the Week: Fulham Score in Feed the Goat: One Footballer Guest: Michael Duberry (Leeds) 'Doobs' - who used to play for Tim's 'Mighty Blues' is out injured for the rest of the season Other Guests: -DJ Spoony (footballer's favourite DJ, in Ayia Napa) (Liverpool fan) -Nigel Benn (former World Middleweight Boxing Champion) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Seth Johnson (Derby) -Joe Cole (West Ham) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Playing cards 2. The England squad 3. Roy Keane's outburst 4. Scottish Euro disappointment 5. The US of A Changing Rooms Legends: John Charles (formerly of Leeds and recently been voted Juventus' best ever foreign player) said that Juve paid £65K for him when they signed him - which 'was a lot then - but they got their money's worth!', that life in Italy was 'wonderful,' the best player he's played with is Sevouri and the best he's played against include Puskas and di Stefano ('he could pass, score, everything'), his nickname was the G

Fans of the Week: Barnet - Nicky Evans is apparently their greatest ever player. Score in Feed the Goat: Four. Footballer Guest: Neil Ruddock (Crystal Palace) Razor - still insists that Sir Alan Shearer isn't boring Other Guests: -Noel Gallagher (Oasis) (Man City fan) -Mani (Stone Roses - now Primal Scream) (Man Utd fan) Mani and Noel - part of two fantastic British bands Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Injury excuses 2. Captain Beckham's pride 3. Chelsea average again 4. Di Canio's comments 5. England were cheated - again Soccerette: Called Lauren, age 17, 5 foot 7, from Yateley, supports Chelsea. Can He Kick It? Guest: David White (ex Man City, Leeds etc) Could He Kick It? Yes.

Fans of the Week: Newcastle - say their best ever player is Tony Green and they prefer Bobby Robson as manager to Keegan. Score in Feed the Goat: Four. Footballer Guest: Paul Lambert (Celtic) Lambert is unluckily injured for tomorrow's Old Firm match Other Guest: Chris Bisson (Coronation Street) (Man Utd fan) On the Phone: -Justin Edinburgh (Portsmouth) -Dean Windass (Bradford) -Michael Gray (Sunderland) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea are falling apart 2. Tottenham's youth 3. Tore Andre Flo 4. Rio's going to Leeds 5. A must win for Rangers Changing Rooms: Wes Brown (Man Utd) said that his footballing heroes were Pele, Paul McGrath and Gary Pallister, the best player he's played with is Eric Cantona ('it was unbelievable watching him'), his toughest opponent is Heskey, one of the defenders he admires most is Des Walker, he'd pay to watch Gazza play, his most memorable game was in the Nou Camp against Barca, when it finished 3-3, and he hopes to get a re

Fans of the Week: Halifax - decided Geoff Horsefield is their best player ever. Score in Feed the Goat: Two. Footballer Guest: Steve Froggatt (Coventry) Other Guests: Philip Olivier and Paul Byatt (both on Brookie and both Liverpool fans) On the Phone: -Les Ferdinand (Spurs) -Rob Nichols (Middlesbrough fanzine) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Chelsea really are in trouble 2. Vieira indiscipline 3. Venables to Boro 4. Rangers are back 5. Dave Beckham Soccerette: Called Cheryl, age 18, 5 foot 2, from Farnbrough, supports West Ham. Can He Kick It? Guest: Tony Cascarino (ex Villa, Celtic, Chelsea etc and, ahem, Ireland) Could He Kick It? Yes - amazing shot down the middles.

Fans of the Week: Man Utd. Score in Feed the Goat: One. The Man Utd fans decided that Eric Cantona is the greatest ever United player (who they've seen playing) Footballer Guests: -Nick Wright (Watford) -Michael Appleton (Preston NE) Other Guest: Phil Cornwell (comedian - he's on Stella Street) (Spurs fan) On the Phone: -Eidur Gudjohnsen (Chelsea) -James Beattie (Southampton) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Sven Goran Eriksson 2. Stan Collymore 3. Neil Lennon 4. Heroic Leeds 5. Problems at Arsenal Soccerette: Called Lauren, age 18, 5 foot 5, from Uxbridge, supports Arsenal. Can He Kick It? Guest: Ian Porterfield (ex Sheff Wed, Sunderland and currently manager of both Trinidad and Tobago) Could He Kick It? Yes - the Cat didn't move.

Fans of the Week: Swansea - decided that Alan Curtis is their best ever player. Score in Feed the Goat: A big fat lonely zero. Footballer Guest: Fabian Wilnis (Ipswich) Other Guests: -The Charlatans (Tim, now Brazil fan and Mark - supports Man Utd) -Phil Greening (international egg chaser) (Liverpool fan) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Michael Owen 2. World's best player 3. Matt Elliott's elbow 4. Newcastle striker crisis 5. Warthogs Soccerette: Called Louise-Rachel, age 27, 5 foot 4, from Brisbane, Australia, supports Arsenal. Can He Kick It? Guest: John Beresford (ex Newcastle, Southampton etc) Could He Kick It? Yes - smacked it past the helpless Cat.

Fans of the Week: Leyton Orient. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Footballer Guests: -Brian Kilcline (ex Coventry, Newcastle and loads more) -Peter Beardsley (esx Liverpool, Newcastle etc) On the Phone: Ramon Vega (Celtic) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Alan Sugar 2. Robbie Keane 3. Paolo di Canio 4. Robbie Fowler 5. Maradonna's wedding Soccerette: Called Stacey, age 19, 5 foot 6, from Telford, supports Wolves. Can He Kick It? Guest: Peter Beardsley. Could He Kick It? Of course he could. Playlist Included: Add N to X, Outkast, Brassy, Presidents of the USA, Regular Fries, Elvis Costello, Ash and the best of the lot, the new single from Dr Dre feat Snoop Dogg.

Fans of the Week: Birmingham - agreed that Trevor Francis is their best ever player. Score in Feed the Goat: Three. Footballer Guest: Tommy Mooney (Watford) Other Guests: Nick Pickard (Chelsea fan) and Gary Lucy (Gooner) (both from Hollyoaks) On the Phone: -Greg Upton (Villa fanzine) -Robbie Savage (Leicester) Footballing Phono Nono's 1. Gregory/Ellis showdown 2. Rebrov 3. Leeds heavy spending fruitless 4. Shearer op 5. The weather Soccerette: Called Lynn, age 18, 5 foot 3, from Doncaster, supports Sheff Wed. Can He Kick It? Guest: Tony Grealish (ex West Brom, Man City etc and played abroad for Warsaw) Could He Kick It? Yes - the Cat was left stranded. Playlist Included: Midfield General, Roxy Music, Azzido Da Bass and the best of the lot has to be Nirvana's ""On A Plain.""

Fans of the Week: Warsaw. Score in Feed the Goat: Two. Footballer Guests: -John Aloisi (Coventry) -Gary Breen (Coventry) -Hassan Kachloul (Southampton) -Taribo West (Derby) -Gus Poyet (Chelsea) On the Phone: Steve McManaman (Real Madrid) Soccerette: Called Gail, age 17, 5 foot 4, from Scotland, supports Celtic. Playlist Included: Mock Turtles, Doves, Ash, King Bee, Happy Mondays but the best of the lot has to be Shotgun Mouth by Last Man Standing.