Season 5

Dorothy is feeling rundown, tired all the time and has a lack of energy. She is sure she is ill, but all of the doctors she visits tell her she's fine. Meanwhile, Blanche decides to write a romance novel.

Dorothy continues to seek medical advice and turns to Harry Weston for help. Meanwhile, Blanche goes on a writing binge resulting in a novel that is less than enthralling.

Blanche's daughter, Rebecca has some wonderful news. She's going to become a mother, through artificial insemination. However, Blanche is less than thrilled, she's totally against the entire thing.

When the company that Rose's husband worked for, cuts off their pension plan, Rose must face the fact that she's going to get a new job, one that pays more. However, she quickly finds herself dealing with something she never expected, age discrimination. Meanwhile, Sophia goes wild buying things in quantity at a Shopper's Warehouse.

Dorothy is in a serious relationship with a lawyer and jumps to the conclusion that he's on the verge of proposing. However, his announcement is a shocker, he's leaving law to become a circus clown. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche put together a protest to save some dolphins.

Rose has been dating Miles Webber, a college professor, but the only thing they seem to have in common is the dance floor. When Miles invites her to a party, Rose feels like a fish out of water being surrounded by all his intelligent friends. Meanwhile, Blanche battles a dating slump.

Sophia's friend has come up with an idea that will change her life. She wants to commit suicide and she wants Sophia there to hold her hand. Meanwhile, Blanche, Rose and Dorothy become singing nursemaids to a sick baby that they are taking care of for the weekend.

Blanche is visited by her brother in-law and is taken back by his resemblence to her deceased husband. She quickly finds herself falling in love with hopes of marriage.

Dorothy finds a list of things that she wanted to accomplish before a certain age and finds that she hasn't accomplished many of them. So she decides to go after one of them, entertaining people. This leads her to sign up to do a stand up routine at a nightclub. Meanwhile, Blanche finds herself battling the IRS.

Dorothy's son, Michael, shows up on her doorstep with news that he's separated with his wife and needs a place to stay. However, Dorothy quickly gets tired of his freeloading and dumps him on Stan. Meanwhile, Rose's stress is getting terrible and is reluctant to talk to her boss about cutting back on her "things-to-do" list.

Blanche is shattered after her father, Big Daddy, passes away. However, when she goes back to her childhood home, she gets into a big argument with her sister, Virginia and decides not to attend the funeral.

It's the Christmas season and the girls are fed up with Christmas shopping in a heat wave. So they decide to buy gifts for the one person they pick from a hat. Later, the girls decide to serve Christmas dinner for the homeless, including a recently homeless Stan.

The girls take in a 15 year old girl who has just found out she's pregnant and scared to tell her father. Meanwhile, Blanche's prison pen pal has just been released and is looking for her.

Rose joins a positive thinking group and tries to get a pessimistic Dorothy to join. Meanwhile, Blanche is scared to get serious with her latest boyfriend especially after he has a heart attack.

Blanche tries to lure men by placing a fake ad in the paper trying to sell a Mercedes. Meanwhile, Rose has to deal with meeting Miles's daughter who makes it clear she wants their relationship to be no more and Dorothy discovers Sophia is hoarding Social Security money, thanks to a computer error.

Dorothy becomes alarmed when Sophia forgets the date of her wedding anniversary. This leads Dorothy to face the fact that Sophia is becoming more and more forgetful with age. After visiting a doctor, Sophia decides to regain some of the memories she has lost and decides to take a trip to Brooklyn and their old apartment.

After visiting the doctor, Blanche learns that he wants to put a pacemaker in her. However, after the operation, Blanche is so scared of intimacy that she decides to give up sex.

Blanche is stunned when a man comes to the front door and claims to be the illegitimate son of her late husband. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Sophia enter a mother-daughter pageant at Shady Pines.

Rose discovers that she may be carrying the HIV virus after learning the blood they used in her gallbladder operation may have contained HIV antibodies. What really gets to her though is the 72 hours she must wait before hearing the test results. Meanwhile, Dorothy organizes a Save the Swamplands charity.

Rose must decide between her boyfriend, Miles or an old boyfriend who has just come to town and asks her to go to Europe with him. Meanwhile, fed up with Dorothy's rules, Sophia decides to move out.

Blanche and her sister, Charmaine, reconcile after a life-long rivalry. However, the reconciliation does not last long after Blanche reads her recently published book and realizes the heroine is based on her. Meanwhile, Dorothy becomes fed up with Stan's visiting cousin.

The married man whom Dorothy once dated re-enters her life and has news that he's now divorced and would like to reconcile with Dorothy. Meanwhile, Blanche and Sophia become the victims of a con game.

The girls attend the wedding of Dorothy's niece who's father was once engaged to Sophia. Sophia thinks that the wedding reception is the perfect spot for revenge after supposedly putting a curse on him years ago.

Dorothy's gambling problem re-surfaces after a visit to the race track and quickly begins falling in to debt and gaining an apathy to her job. Meanwhile, Rose takes up painting and Blanche is insulted after a man she works with rejects her advances.

An FBI agent investigates the girls' life's for a possible visit from President Bush. This leads the girls to reminisce about times they have spent together.

When the FBI agent announces that George Bush will make a visit to their home, the girls continue to reminisce and Dorothy quickly readies a list of points she wants to make to the president.